Social Animals
We learn fast because we are social learners. We live in a socially created reality.
Ideas, no matter how stupid, can spread like wild fire.
That’s human beings, very superstitous creatures.
VALUE
VALUE is like MAGNET.
We are designed to be drawn to towards value.
Back to the caveman days, the women are looking for decisiveness, resourcefulness, dominantness, fearless, a guy who dictates reality it does not have reality dictated to him.
Attraction is straightforward.
Am I trying to live up to her standards? NO ! She is trying live up to my standards. cos that’s coming accross in the sub communication. Then she will be far more attracted to you.
When you have value, you’ll naturally feel comfortable in the skin. You are in the momnet. Otherwise you’re in your head.
Express your personality freely and let the chicks fall they may.
If someone is trying to self seek by giving you knowledge to generate reactions, is that really giving you authentic information or perspectives or vibes or whatever. You brain will instinctly reject it.
When you bringing the party, she is interested. When you’re trying to wedge your way into her party, she is repelled.
Walking Days
Most people walk thorugh life in their walking days.
People have this desire to keep drawing stayed off the environment, so they keep chasing high status people. But people are just people.
If you are trying to live up to the superficial standards of society. That actually does more harm than good even if you reach the standards. Because now you are in the mode of reaction.
Most people obsess about the future, so they’re not thinking about the future through their own intentions. They are complusively thinking about it. Because they are displeased with the moment that’s directly in front of them. This is not acting through your own intentions, that’s acting to escape mentally.
Society has something that is appreciated, simultaneosly your interaction with society is also holding you back if you don’t understand it.
Isn ’t it interesting how society has got us so fucking scattered and so fucking stuck on the surface of things that we can no longer see the depth of things.
People like that simplicity. They don’t want to look at the multi-dimensions of the way the world works. They don’t want to dig in deep. They don’t want to be requried to be aware all the time. They just want to get their believes and then go to sleep and let that belief take care of everything.
Living to other people’s standards can give you a temporary fix of confidence, but it wlll not give you a real sense of value or self-esteem.
Society gives you
You will be in the spoke of the wheel if you believe in the system, everything will be fine.
Best comsumers: desatisfied, wild paranoia about status, a wild sort of general buzz of confusion about who he is, no identity, no values.
Deferred life plan: We are always taught to measure ourselves, to grade ourselves and keeping going to the next thing.
We live in a society where the idea that bad emotions are a valid excuse not to act is actually feasible to most people.
Many society before us really value the idea of right action. Right action is like muscle. This is what is required to be done and I’m gonna do it regardless of my emotions. You feel emotions in your body and you move forward anyway.
Most people are chodes and they don’t know:
That’s what living in reaction. Their mind is blowing around like reads in the wind. They are just scattered and not centered. It’s well suited for peon but not for you.
What is love ?
English as a language in many ways dictates our concept of reality.
People use different language to self-hyponotize themselves into all sorts of wacky beliefs, and lots of emotional pain.
Is love a feeling of attraction, a feeling of connection, a feeling of lust, feeling of physical attachment, maybe underlying oneness.
Love is not caused by another person, it’s a self-hyponosis. it’s a trance you put yourself into. and as we loop our thoughts over and over around an concept of a paticular person. our mind shifts the way that we perceive them and suddenly everything make sense: it’s love.
You have to know that you do not know somebody until you know them.
Taoist view of seduction: Love and happiness within yourself. Relationship is like a stretch.
IDENTITY
We are always processing the world through that little seed in our mind which is identity
Much of your identity is arbitrary. And it comes from social feedback while you’re interacting with other people. Many of the personality traits you have are built on reaction.
Nature-Nurture debate? There are countless examples of people that rose above that.
Think about things like depression, self-pity and victim mindset. Those are called luxuries. Existenial angst? That’s a beautiful luxury the modern-day.
Who you are today can be completely different in a year from now.
First-hand and second-hand information.
RAS
When you have certain beliefs, and you’ve being building on those beliefs years and years, and finding new evidence to reinforce those beliefs years and years.
The way your mind is set up is to continually look for evidence to support that belief.
Put focus on what might be valuable to you. Someone who has more certainty than you would probably seem to have value.
INFERENCE
Your situation is always changing. And as it does, your mind is always looking at social feedback to figure out how much value you have and determine which personality is approciate at the time.
Don’t be afraid of being an idiot. Any newbie is gonna look like a dumbass, that’s called reality. A very big part of mastery in terms of success with women is the ability to endure humiliation repeatly.
Human being’s two major assets is intelligence and social bounding.
State
Your state is the emotional system which looks at the situation to see wheather or not you have value and gives you access to part of your personality that works the best.
Resistance is the emotion you experience when you wish the reality in front of you was in some different way.
Your identity criteria is where your mind looks to reference how much value you have. In other words, the rules you have to decide wheather or not you go into state.
Role is just a role. And you don’t need to identify yourself with that role. Someone might judge you. You don’t even need to correct them.
How Mind Works
success barrier: you think you want it, but your mind has blocked the way to it
Fear of your own success: most people more fear of their own greatness than failure.
The further you push beyond your previous concept of where you should be, the more anxiety you’re gonna feel.
As far as your mind is concerned, your perception of reality does not have to be objective, it just has to be accurate enough to keep you going.
Most people are not really too concerned about objectivity, as long as their concept of reality keeps them alive, that’s all what matters. As long as your mind is concerned, if your view of reality has kept you alive for this long. Believe it or not, it’s easier to bury itself deeper into the existing reality than deal with the headaches of thiking through a potential harder to understand more complex view of reality.
Ramifications of new reality: The doubts that you have the mental energy to learn all the new ins and outs. The nauseous feeling that you are going backwards in your understanding about this world. A sort of instinct that people might not accept the new you.
We all live in somewhat of a subjective reality. No matter how objective you think you are, there is subjectivity meshed into there.
We have a mechanism which makes us instinctly grip our reality so we can appear to be sure of ourselves and appear to have a strong sense of certainty.
Signpost after signpost pointing you in a certain of being
Core Confidence
Could true core confidence exist is a philosophical problem. But there’s definitely people who have a lot more core confidence than others.
Most people need to get people reacting to them before they can feel confident.
When you feel confident, people react to you.
Core confidence come from an unshakable conviction of who you are and what you are entitled to. It’s a confidence that allows you to take on a charismatic attitude that gets people reacting to you regardless of the situation you are in.
Put in the seeds and let the core confidence blossom. As it comes out more and more, you’ll gather more reference experiences for why core confidence really works. Then your mind will accept that this is the truth.
Sense Of Reality
Your sense of reality is what allows you to make predications about the world.
You have a model of the world inside your head about all the different cause-and-effect relationships. It’s your map of how the world works. It might be hypothetical or it might be firsthand. It includes your view of people like, how they should respond to you and you view of what you deserve out of life.
Whoever has the strongest reality wins.
Whoever has the more dominant sense of reality will tend to impose that sense of reality onto other people around them.
So many guys get lost in listening to the guru that they don’t think for themselves what is making this work.
To understand what’s being communicated to you, you have to have: 1. reference experiences 2. why is this working.
Most people don’t tend to have a very certain reality. They are just looking towards others to think how they should think or act. They are always seeking out certainty. and whoever has the strongest, most rock-solid fix interpretation of reality will usually have most influence and draw them into the world.
Most people in general who haven’t studied self-actualization are not that centered. Because it’s unconscious competence. And they don’t know how they’re doing it. They feel centered most of the time, but when they start to fall off their center. They don’t recognize their behavior and don’t know what’s going on.
When you have unweaving certainty and the least reaction to conflicting views.
So many people are placing limitations on me, why would I place more of myself?
Ultimately all people have more similarities then differences.
Anywhere you can invite the girl into your world and let her have a taste of it without putting an pressure on her is really adding a lot of attraction.
Strong reality: who you are, your system of value, personal boundary
The more your reality gets broken down, the more your reality becomes stronger as time goes on
If there’s even a little drop of integrity inside you, then when you go through that fire. The more fire you blast onto it, the more it melts off all the shit and all the goober and gets that core piece of integrity that’s inside of you.
Internal & External Distinction
Masculine Polarity
Masculine Polarity is your grounding amidst the emotional chaos. It is the magnet that draws women towards you in the form of your deepest self esteem. It’s a total trust in your faculties and your ability to determine reality.
Some examples:
What is acting through your own intentions? something that you come to over years and years. it’s like peeling back the layers of programming, of other poeple’s nonsense that they’ve put into your head to get your core. So every year of your life goes by, you will become better at acting through your own intentions if you have that as a marker that you’re shooting towards.
Breathe to access your higher self
procactive vs reactive social strategy
When you have a procactive social strategy, you’re making the choice to be authentic and let the chips fall they may
Reactive social strategy is you keep trying to modify yourself and adapt yourself for every type of situation.
Man is action, women is reaction
Beautiful Shallow Girl Unconscious Behavior
unconscious learned behaviors to assert polarity:
This behavior will try to get you reactive
The more you invest the more you backwards rationalize that you are doing this for good reason, and the more you keep investing ad nauseam
Women want to experience all kinds of emotions fully
Disrupting her reality so she wants to reassert the reality by getting you to respond the way she wants.
Anticipated Response
Also called assumption, your map of how you expect the world to respond you.
People are always doing things to to cause their anticipated response to come true. Trying to maintain their reality. Trying to make the world make sense.
approval seek
Self fullfilling prophecy
This happens because your minds is always seeking out evidence, even it’s obscure to reinforce your existing beliefs. and because the confidence that you have in those beliefs, you draw people into the reality and inadvertently get them to act in ways that you don’t expect.
no shift in state so you don’t need to win the verbal match
flinching or retreating into your mind
value-giving mindset
To have unweaving beliefs, you must:
The half way point between fear and total belief is indifference
By going out every night, getting hammered, getting humiliated, getting embarrassed. You can get a lot of evidence of one thing: it really doesn’t matter what other poeple think of you.
Eventually you cross something that’s beautiful, and that’s something called indifference threshold. harmonious ting of true indifference.
truly letting go of the outcome, not seeking in their interactions anymore, loss of neediness.
The system if put there so that you cannot be confident and successful unless you really have what women want, that survival reproduction value.
You have to scramble the system and your fucking brain. What you have to do is pummel your brain with so many references that the whole system just goes
stifling check
whenever I’m out on my own, I don’t say to myself I need to be confident right now. I just say I need to cross the indifference threshold as quickly as possible.
Don’t try to be confident at first, try to be indifferent. Condifence will then flow from that point.
Once your mind clicks, your ras starts to look at the behaviors of cool guys with more clarity than it did before.
how to unstyfle yourself ? we are all confined by our egos, and we all hate. If some can get unstyfled, you can lead the crowd to be unstyfled.
Flexible belief system
STRONG BELIEF SYSTEM vs FLEXIBLE BELIEF SYSTEM
the ablity to quickly sift through ideas and either take or reject them is actually a strength and skill
even beyound taht, the more adaptable you are in allowing conflicting or paradoxical realities to exist in your mind without being shut down by them, the more readily you can jump between maps and where other people would fall flat on their face, you will stand.
the map is not the territory
Now is the only moment
Do not seek happiness in the future. Happiness is now.
Life is about the unknown.
The result is anti-climatic.
The result can never be as good as the doing.
Flow
When you realize this is it, the future is coming but it’s unknown.
Then the concept of time becomes very much irrelevant.
And that’s when the flow starts to happen.
Being not Doing
If you are in the habit on a day-to-day basis of trying to draw state from your environment. If that’s how you live your life, is it gonna be natural to walk right up to a girl and try to draw state from wihtin at that point?
Core understanding: when you’re speaking with the women, what you need to say is jumbled.
You run out of things when you want something. Trust in yourself. Flow. Turn off the noice.
Thinking (Logic) in almost all endeavors is your greastest asset, but in meeting women thinking is your greatest weakness.
Staying with the tension, non-resistance. Edge of cockiness.
Masculinity is the Innate ability every man is born with to create attraction with women. You can get in touch with that.
Rip the opaque wall: judgements, comparisons, labels, interpretations Your entire congntive model of these is a shelter between you and facing reality for what it is.
core fenimine nature: sound, vibe, energy
As Ends Rather Than Means
Some of human being’s ultimate greatness is being able to control the environment. It is our ability to shape the world in the way we want it.
But the question is why are we shaping it, how are we shaping it.
Are we doing this from the desperate feeling of lack or are we doing this for the sake of right action.
Are we doing it to feel the flow of creativity or are we doing it to deny the unknown.
Walk through the world with ease
Living in the moment:
There are always forces in this world that is tugging at your awareness isn’t it. Force like frustration and fear, essentially, they are diseases to creep into you. And once you let them in they take over and loop your mind endlessly around thoughts that are useless and draining.
walk through the world with ease: put all these concepts (core confidence, strong reality, acting through your own intention, masculine polarity) into one expression
You are moving with the current of the world not against it. You don’t have to be above the world or below the world. You don’t have to be better or worse. You can be equally at ease amoung affluence as among poverty. You don’t attach your identity to any of that. In the same way you know that ground is stable and you’re breathing. You can navigate the complexities of the world with the same certainty as you would just the most basic of facts.
see the best of yourself, see the best of other people.
Ego is always looking for seperation to show why you’re more real and tangible.
Ego is like the scar around the wound.
Ego-based confidence is obtainable but not sustainable.
Self-esteem is being able to feel good on your own independently to generate safe from within.
You have to accept both your good and bad.
You have to realize that the more personal it is the more universal it is.
When you can finally reach a level where you accept yourself both for your positive side and your flaws.
When you stop just looking at people at the surface level and realize we’re all kind of made up in the same sort of way.
And you can become what’s called comfortable in your own skin.